HORNS By Joe Hill – Reviewed

When Ig wakes up after a night he can’t remember his lack of memory is the least of his problems: he has developed horns, like a devil, that make people tell him their deepest, darkness thoughts. And as Ig is the town pariah, thought to have murdered his childhood sweetheart, the truths he hears are unkind to say the least…

Hill is a natural storyteller, much like his father, and manages to suck you into the story and his characters. This book reminded me of King’s work, as well as Odd Thomas by Koontz.

It’s the murder mystery that initially draws you in, but the characters are what continue to keep your interest after the mystery is solved.

Involving and entertaining, but lacking a sufficiently explosive climax. The book further cements Hill as one of the best writers of horror in America.

WEED SPECIES By Jack Ketchum – Reviewed

I don’t know how Ketchum does it, but he does it every time. He has a way of saying stuff that just makes it feel really really wrong. And although the stuff would be wrong anyway, it feels really wrong when Ketchum says it in his raw, open-wound kind of style.

Here we follow the sordid adventures of Sherry, who starts off by drugging her teenage sister so that her husband can rape her. You see Sherry has been helping her husband rape for a few years, and they’ve also been murdering these girls, and now that young Talia is of a certain age, and Sherry is getting older, she’s just not doing it for her husband anymore and is going to help him rape her little sister. Except that things swiftly go wrong and the girl ends up dead.

This short book chronicles the further adventures of Sherry and the consequences of their sordid escapades.

This is pretty nasty stuff, and Ketchum shows us the true horror of the world, despicable humans. Horror has never been quite so nasty as when Ketchum writes it. The man is a devil, he is truly terrifying, by showing us the capacity of humanity to do wrong. A nasty little book, such great fun!

KILL THE DEAD By Richard Kadrey – Reviewed

It’s not often that a book comes along that excites me. It’s not often that anything excites me. In fact, it’s a very rare occasion that anything wakes me from the tortured stupor that is my day to day life. I read almost constantly to escape the dull oblivion that is my pitiful existence.

And then a book like this comes along…

James Stark (demon fighter and part-Angel celebrity) is dragged into LA’s zombie while being Lucifer’s bodyguard. And that’s barely scraping the surface of this story, but I don’t want to ruin the surprises in store for you.

This is the second book in the Sandman Slim series, and if I haven’t read the first book then go read it. Go now. What are you waiting? Go, just go. No, don’t read any further, get it now! Right now I tell you!

You could probably pick this book up and struggle along to catch up, but don’t. The first book is a hell of a story (literally), and there’s far too much you’ll have missed out on if you start the series with book two. Although this is pretty much a stand-alone story, this is very much the second part of a series, and there’s a ton of background (and it’s really fun background!) that you’ll miss out on if you skip the first book. Do not skip the first book! DO NOT!

Stark is a serious piece of work, an alcoholic, chain-smoking, demon assassin, murderer, kick-ass detective; just the kind of dude Lucifer wants as a bodyguard. Our hellish anti-hero is a brilliantly humorous, angry young man, killing vampires and zombies with witty asides, and inventive techniques.

Kadrey has produced an LA dripping with monster filth, which works so well. This is a city bound-up with demons and hellions, drowning in Sub-Rosa (magical families), and is an antidote to those good folks in the Harry Potter novels. These magicians would cook up Harry and his pals for breakfast and then shit them out as zombies. This is hardcore witchcraft, terror and death.

This book is demented genius. Kadrey raised the bar for urban fantasy with Sandman Slim, and the expectations were high for the second book in the series. Not only does Kadrey gives us another exciting episode, but he continues to explore one of the most fascinating and engaging narrators/creatures in modern genre literature.

Sandman Slim is dead. Long live Sandman Slim!

SANDMAN SLIM By Richard Kadrey – Reviewed

I saw Devil Said Bang in Forbidden Planet before Christmas and knew I had to read it. OCD sufferer that I am, I can’t start a series with book number four, so this one (Sandman Slim) went on my Christmas list. Fortunately Santa listened and I unwrapped this along with another twenty-odd books (Santa’s good!). I thought I’d start with this one because it’s fairly short, and I wanted to start working my way towards that fourth book in the series, the one I really wanted to read.

Fortunately the first in the series is a rock-hard, ultra-violent, action-fest!

Jimmy Stark was sent down to hell eleven years ago by his magic circle. Since then he’s been trying to survive as the play-toy of demons, and has managed to become a monster fighter and assassin. But when his ex-girlfriend is brutally murdered by the very same man who put him in hell, Stark escapes, killing one of Lucifer’s generals in the process. Now he’s in LA, looking for revenge on the magic circle that sentenced him to hell and their leader who killed the only woman he ever loved.

What follows is a cross between David Gunn’s Death’s Head (the attitude, the action, the raw brutality, and the protagonist from hell [this time literally]), and Tim Waggoner’s Nekopolis (a city [this time LA] riven with hellish creatures and magic), although it’s all under the surface here.

Stark is the perfect host (first person narrator), a revenge-driven psychopath, willing to kill himself and whoever gets in his way. The first person he encounters he cuts of their head. He doesn’t get any friendlier as the novel goes on, and it’s great! Hard-bitten, filled with venom and pithy comments, Stark is a true urban anti-hero with a bad attitude.

Kadrey has produced a real character in Stark, a unique individual you can’t help but remember, and may be not for all the right reasons. He’s fantastically caustic, and all the better for it in the urban sprawl of LA. An LA filled with angels, demons and Kissee, along with magicians, G-men from Homeland Security, murderers, skinheads and all manner of human-pus.

Sandman Slim is a unique and terribly entertaining mix, an urban fantasy that is vile and brutal and brilliant because of that. Stark is a hero that demands your attention, he has mine, and I’ll be back for the second in the series, and the third and fourth. I can’t wait!

Credit Crunch: A Survivor’s Guide – Debt: The Enemy

Most of us have some form of debt.

If you don’t think debt it bad then think about this: the whole entire world went into recession in 2008/9, the main cause of this was debt. Too many people owed too much money and couldn’t afford to pay it back. Debt is always, and will forever be, the enemy.

The list below is not comprehensive, but it gives you an idea of the vileness of the debt. Each one is another layer further into the rings of hell. We start off with the cheapest form of debt, only two of which can be considered acceptable. After that you’re on the rocky road to hell!

Student Loans – From the Student Loans Company or a similar body. The rates on these are based on the rate of inflation, so they cost very little. Unfortunately you are limited by the amount you can borrow per year and you have to be a studying full-time. You don’t have to pay these back until you have a certain monthly income, rather than having to start paying it back as soon as you finish your studies.

Mortgage – Likely to be the largest amount of debt you will ever have (hopefully!). Although it may actually cost you £300,000 to pay off a £150,000 house, mortgages are generally the cheapest form of debt available. But, by overpaying your mortgage you can save thousands. By changing your lender and getting the best deals you can save hundreds of pounds a month, which you can use to pay it off faster, hence saving you several years of debt.

Unsecured Loans – Loan agreements vary, depending on the length of time, the amount you want and the lender. 7-15% is normal for a high-street leader. You can get them for home improvements or buying a new car. Also popular is consolidating credit-card debt.

Credit Card – Get back hellbeast! With rates of 18 to 35% normal, you could be paying off an iPod for 20 years if you only pay the minimum payment. Credit cards are basically a way for banks and merchants to lull you into a false sense of security, and slowly and methodically rob you of all your hard-earned wages.

There is only one reason to use a credit card, and there is only one sensible way to deal with the debt: pay it all off every month. Use a card that has added benefits, such as cash back or airmiles, or BA miles, but always always always pay off the credit card balance every month.

If you already have credit card debt (and don’t worry, it happens to us all) this is the biggest obstacle to have to deal with, and you do that by transferring your balance to 0% interest card for the length of the 0% period and trying to pay off as much as possible, and then moving the balance again once the period is up, preferably to another 0% on balances card and continuing to pay it off. If it’s too large for you to ever be able to pay it off in 18 to 24 months then it would be worth looking at an unsecured loan.

Storecards – The actual devil! I kid you not! Rates for storecards have come down a little in recent times, but 20 to 50% is not unheard of. Some of them do nice introductory offers, which might be worth looking in to, but read the fine print and know what you are signing up for. It could well be your soul you’re signing away! The storecard is the ultimate enemy!

You have to try to work your way out of the debt. The way to do this is to work your way out of the hole. The less you pay to service the debt (overdraft fees, interest, etc), the better off you are.

Try to never get into debt. Having debt means your money is not your own. If you’ve budgeted and you have £400.00 left and you have a load of credit-card bills then that £400.00 won’t last long. Most of what you will be paying back will be interest, which just means you’ll be paying nearly the same amount next month and the month after and the month after that! Don’t fall into the debt trap, and if you do, try to escape as soon as possible.

If you have debt what you are basically doing it throwing your money at your bank manager, or credit card company, or loan company. Throwing it, picking up big piles of cash and throwing it away.

Don’t do it, it’s wrong.